Disappearance
by divaaaofcourage
Summary: <html><head></head>Who would've thought he had to go through another loss? Ren's happiness was taken away from him. Since then, all he ever knew was misery. The once-flirtatious singer had turned into a melancholic.</html>
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Disappearance

**Main characters:** Jinguuji Ren & Ichinose Tokiya

**Summary:** Who would've thought he had to go through another loss? Ren's happiness was taken away from him. Since then, all he ever knew was misery. The once-flirtatious singer had turned into a melancholic.

* * *

><p><strong>- Chapter One -<strong>

* * *

><p>The sudden disappearance of his partner shocked Ren.<p>

Upon hearing the news from Tsukimiya-sensei and Nanami Haruka regarding the disappearance of Hirijikawa Masato together with the other fellow members of STARISH and QUARTET NIGHT, they all felt the same thing – their world had turned dark.

Kotobuki Reiji's happy-go-lucky personality faded, Mikaze Ai appeared as emotionless as ever but his heart shattered into a million pieces, while Camus remained silent, shocked. Kurosaki Ranmaru was as speechless and shocked as Camus.

As for STARISH, Ittoki Otoya and Kurusu Syo were constantly questioning Haruka and Tsukimiya-sensei. Shinomiya Natsuki, Aijima Cecil and Ichinose Tokiya stood there and listened, eyes widened in complete shock, while Jinguuji Ren froze.

Though to everyone else, despite the rivalry between Masato and Ren, they all knew the two care for each other a lot.

* * *

><p>"I've tried all ways to get Ren to talk but he stubbornly refuses to say a word," Syo said to his roommates Ai and Natsuki, as he paced forth and back in his room and swinging his arms in the air. "I mean, he used to always have something to say but now?" The blond sighed. "I have never seen Ren like this before."<p>

Natsuki, who was sitting on his bed, nodded in agreement and crossed his arms. "Right? I'm really worried for Ren, for Masato, for all of us. It's been forty-eight hours since Masato went missing."

"Exactly," Syo responded.

Ai decided to speak up. He sat on his armchair, expressionless. "But even without Masato around, please bear in mind that you all still have individual works as idols."

Syo rolled his eyes on his senior. "You sound as heartless as ever." He sighed. "We know that, of course."

Natsuki continued, "But without Masato, it feels as though STARISH is disbanded."

The shorter blond plopped onto his bed and sighed, "Right?"

* * *

><p>Ranmaru sat on his bed with his eyes fixed on Ren, who was lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, crying on the inside. Ranmaru knew how badly Masato's disappearance had affected Ren on a regular basis. The boy felt he had lost so much, he could not even deliver his performance correctly.<p>

Ren had not eaten for two full days and it worried Ranmaru. Despite his constant pleading, Ren refused to do anything. He had turned so many projects down due to this.

However, the rock star wasn't going to give up yet.

The senior rose to his feet and walked over to Ren's corner of the room.

"Oi, Ren," Ranmaru took a spot on Ren's bed to sit. "Let's go grab some lunch. You're going to need to fill that tummy of yours. You haven't eaten in forty-eight hours."

Ren released a casual sigh and shut his eyes. "You go ahead, Ran-chan. I'm not hungry."

"Lies. Come on, let's get you down to the cafeteria."

"Ran-chan, I said I'm not hungry."

"You are. You only don't have the mood to."

"Leave me alone, will you please?"

"No matter what, I can't. You're my junior and we're sleeping in the same dorm."

"Shut up." Ren blinked slowly and turned to lie on his side, turning his back on Ranmaru.

Ranmaru sighed and placed a hand on the side of Ren's arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'll bring you some food. I'll be back in fifteen minutes."

Without waiting for Ren's response, Ranmaru left the room and finally, Ren burst into tears.

* * *

><p>Otoya and Reiji were out, busy with their respective projects while Tokiya was sitting alone in his room quietly, reading a book. Although he was reading the book, he only had one thing in mind: Masato.<p>

_[/Flashback]_

_It was that same day of the week when Masato and Tokiya always spend the day together. The two spend their Sundays together without fail and even though they had been doing this for many months, neither of the other guys knew about it. It was only between Tokiya and Masato. _

_Fortunately, it was a very bright Sunday and it was the perfect weather to take a walk in the park. Since it was Masato's idea to finally do something outdoors, Tokiya had no objections. After all, whatever they did together didn't matter. Tokiya had always loved Masato's company._

"_Ichinose, are you finished?" Masato asked as he watched Tokiya, who was scanning the lobby of the academy for the last time._

"_Ah. Let's go," Tokiya replied with a warm smile, as he turned to head for the exit._

_Masato returned the same smile and Tokiya's heart melted. Masato's smile was too precious to him._

_At the park, the pair strolled side-by-side, taking their time admiring the blue sky and the nature surrounding them. It was the most relaxing moment for the two friends._

"_Ne, Masato."_

"_Hm?"_

"_Have you ever…"_

_Masato kept his eyes on Tokiya, who was wearing that genuine smile only very few people could witness. _

_Tokiya held his tongue and both his words and actions confused the other boy._

"_Ichinose?"_

_Tokiya shook his head slowly. "Forget I said anything. I didn't know what I was going to say, either."_

_Both their eyes met then and both stopped in their tracks and faced each other._

_Masato, however, knew something was on Tokiya's mind. His friend probably didn't know how to construct his sentence yet._

_So Masato tried asking, "Is it something about how you feel about something in particular, Ichinose? Knowing you, you wouldn't start a conversation without having something on your mind."_

_Of course, Tokiya expected Masato to say that. After all, they spend their Sundays very often together and as time passed, they learned so much more about each other. _

_While Tokiya kept his silence, Masato tried once more, "I understand you aren't as loud as Ittoki and you don't always speak your mind when it comes to feelings, but I think it's best you—"_

_Tokiya chuckled. "Pot calling the kettle black, huh, Masato?"_

"_Um…" Masato wanted to desperately take his words back. He shrugged. "No, I'm just… I'm just saying."_

"_It's nothing to worry about, Masato, really. Actually, I just want to say how grateful I am to have met you and the others."_

"_It was Nanami who brought us together, though."_

_Tokiya nodded in agreement. "But out of all the other guys, the only one I am able to have serious conversations with is you and you're the kind of person I need in my life. So, I'm hoping you and I will remain friends for the rest of our lives no matter what we plan to do as individuals in the future."_

_Masato's eyes widened and zipped his lips shut, as he was caught off guard with his band mate's kind words. Though at some point, he had expected Tokiya to finally voice out his thoughts, he never thought the day would be that day._

_Tokiya continued, "Masato…" The boy took his friend's hand in his and interlocked their fingers together, "Please stay."_

_Masato returned the smile and with his free arm, he draped it around Tokiya and pulled him into a hug – the one thing Tokiya was least expecting it._

_In the other boy's ear, Masato whispered, "I am not going anywhere, Ichinose. I'll be your friend, for eternity."_

_Unfortunately, for Masato and Tokiya, it was unknown to them that that day was the last day they were able to spend their time together alone._

_[/End of flashback]_

Masato's disappearance was too much for him to bear but Tokiya wasn't aware that someone else had taken Masato's disappearance a lot harder than he did. Tokiya was too caught up with his own feelings, to the point he had turned numb. He started to keep his distance from everyone, including Reiji and Otoya. Tokiya also refused to speak. It was as though he had lost his voice.

Just as he closed his book and released an exhausted sigh, he heard a knock on the door. Instead of immediately answering the door, the brunet spaced out.

When another knock was heard, he snapped back to reality and finally rose to his feet, dragging his feet as he headed for the door. The moment he grabbed the door handle, he heard a voice on the other side of the wood.

"Ichi, are you in there?"

Tokiya was in shock. "…Ren?"

Ren knocked again angrily, using all the energy he had left. "Ichi!"

Tokiya pulled the door open and gasped at how frail Ren looked. "Ren…"

"Ichi… I…"

"Hush now," Tokiya took a large step forward and wrapped his arms around Ren's muscular frame. "Let's get you inside."

As Tokiya was about to drag the blond in, Ren's legs had given up on him. Tokiya wasn't prepared to carry all of Ren's weight and they ended up falling to the floor with Ren laying on top of Tokiya.

Tokiya grunted, trying to shift Ren off of him. "R-Ren—"

"I'm sorry… Ichi… I need… Hirijikawa…"

The brunet's heart broke.

He had forgotten how much Masato meant to Ren and Tokiya had selfishly thought Masato only belonged to him.

Ren slowly picked himself up. However, instead of standing, the blond shifted himself and sat by the wall, next to the door. Tokiya made it to his feet to shut the door.

"Ren…"

Ren looked like he had lost so much weight and his face appeared to be very pale. It was definitely a sight Tokiya had never seen before and it would take some time to get used to this. His band mate was always flirtatious and had always appeared to be healthy. Now?

"Ren, you need to eat…" Tokiya stood by Ren and went down on one knee.

Ren shook his head. "Ran-chan told me to eat many times but I don't have the appetite."

"At least, take Kurosaki-senpai's advice and eat, Ren."

"No."

"Is Masato all you need?"

Ren weakly nodded his head. "I need him to come back home…"

Tokiya's heart dropped to his stomach. Indeed, he too wanted Masato to return home. However, according to him, it wasn't to him Masato was going to return to; it was going to be Ren and Ranmaru. They're roommates after all.

To cover up his true feelings, as a good friend, Tokiya tried to persuade Ren.

"Ren, I know I am not one to talk…" Tokiya's heart shattered further. "But don't you think Masato would want to return home to see a healthy you? I mean, he wouldn't want to see you like this. Also…" The brunet was forcing himself to hold back his own tears as he watched Ren shed his continuously. "We all don't know the reason behind Masato's disappearance. The only thing we know is, he vanished without a word and we're only hoping for the day to come when Masato returns home."

Tokiya noticed the blond was staring at nothing in particular but he was sure that he was listening so he continued, "What if one day, Masato—"

"Enough, Ichi."

"Eh?"

Ren's gaze shifted to the floor and spoke in a whisper, "I'm done talking about Hirijikawa."

"But…"

"You heard me." Gathering all the energy he had left, Ren relied on his two used-to-be strong legs to stand, while Tokiya reached both his hands out to prepare himself in case Ren was going to fall again but this time, he didn't.

"Stand up, Ichi."

Tokiya did as he was told and waited for Ren's next words.

"Don't tell anybody I came to see you and talk to you. I am only confiding in you because Hirijikawa is missing and—"

Tokiya was partially offended. "So you're using me as a filler?"

Ren shot his friend with an unhappy look. "No. You're not a filler."

"You have others to confide in, don't you? You have Kurosaki-senpai to talk to."

"Listen to me, Ichi, one more word from you and you're getting it from me," Ren said through clenched teeth, leaning on the wall behind him for support.

The brunet zipped his lips shut and looked away.

"I came here to look for you because… Strangely, I feel like you'll understand what I'm feeling about Hirijikawa."

Tokiya was at a loss for words. What was he going to respond to that? Ren's words felt like hundreds of knives stabbing him in the heart.

* * *

><p><strong>- End of Chapter One -<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**- Chapter Two -**

* * *

><p>A week had gone by and everyone, excluding Tokiya, were surprised to see Ren recover unexpectedly fast. Masato's disappearance had badly affected him not too long ago, however, it was thanks to Tokiya, Ren was able to see the light at the end of the dark tunnel.<p>

Ranmaru knew Tokiya had something to do with Ren's current state of mind and behaviour as he and the others noticed how close the two friends had been as of late. They normally would always be on each other's throats. Despite them being classmates at one point, they were never fond of each other.

The blond was always looking for his brunet friend after a long day at work to a point that Tokiya had to leave Otoya behind alone with Reiji although Otoya didn't mind but Otoya would whine and complain about it afterwards since Tokiya was just as important to him as everyone else. Reiji, on the other hand, was always repeatedly telling Otoya, "Otoyan, let Tokki be. We all know Ren needs him."

Syo, Natsuki, Otoya and Cecil found it terribly weird. The flirtatious Jinguuji Ren hadn't been flirting with girls like he usually did. His attention was a hundred percent on Tokiya. The sweet words, the smirks, the winks and the touches… He had reserved them for only Tokiya. Initially, they were for Masato.

* * *

><p>Ren was sitting on a bench at the nearby park alone. Tokiya was at work with some producers, working on a new project for an upcoming TV drama. Ren did ask Tokiya if they would be able to meet up after Tokiya was done. At first, Tokiya hesitated and afterwards told Ren that he didn't need to but Ren insisted so he gave in.<p>

While waiting for time to fly by, Ren spent some time alone at the park. It was a day off for him. His mind was always thinking about Masato and the many scenarios he was always coming up with. Sometimes he'd overthink too much, he ended up with a splitting headache.

_"Ah, fancy bumping into you here, Ren-kun."_

"Hm?" Ren looked over his shoulder, only to find a smiling Natsuki standing behind him. "Ah, it's just you, Shinomi."

Natsuki smiled warmly before taking a spot on the bench next to Ren.

The two bandmates sat in silence as they watched the sun setting.

"This is awkward," Ren broke the silence.

"Eh?"

"I was supposed to watch the sunset with Hirijikawa instead of you, Shinomi." Ren added a wink, with a smirk plastered on his face.

Natsuki chuckled, "That's right but it doesn't matter, does it?"

Ren wordlessly shook his head. "Nah, it doesn't."

"_Ne_, Ren-kun, will it be okay if I ask you something?"

"What is it, Shinomi?" Ren didn't take it to account that Natsuki probably wanted to ask a serious question. His gaze was still fixed at the sunset.

"Do you spend your time thinking of where Masa-kun is right now?"

Ren froze. His gaze finally shifted to his friend, who was wearing a frown on his face.

"Because you see, I miss Masa-kun a lot. We all do. He's a dear friend of ours but I'm sure you miss him more than the rest of us do, _ne_?"

"S-Shinomi…"

"Masa-kun probably is somewhere, wanting to return home as well. Right now, the police are doing their job to find Masa-kun so I guess all we can do is wait."

"Shinomi…"

"Hm?"

"It's a lot harder to deal with Hirijikawa's disappearance than anything else for me right now. I may smile all the time but inside I am hurting so much. I sleep on his bed instead of my own and cry every night, hoping for Hirijikawa to return home. Ran-chan isn't good at comforting people so all he did was watch me from across the room."

"Then what about Tokiya-kun?"

A small smile formed on Ren's face. "I am grateful for Ichi. That's all I wish to say."

Natsuki nodded and flashed a gentle smile. "Well, Ren-kun, don't forget you have all of us. If you're having a hard time, you can always look for us. Anytime."

Ren returned the smile.

* * *

><p><em>"It's a wrap!"<em>

Everyone gave a round of applause.

Tokiya's work had already been done for the day. The boy glanced at his watch, which read ten minutes after seven in the evening. Ren was already probably waiting for him at the lobby of the building. He grabbed his bag by the strap and hung it on his left shoulder as he headed for the elevator. He stepped into the elevator just as the doors opened and briefly greeted the other man who was standing at one corner of the spacious elevator to acknowledge his presence, who in return, responded with a slight nod.

On his way down to the first level, he happened to look over his shoulder before turning his head back to face the front. He found the other man mysterious as he had his eyes fixed on the ground and was clothed in a beige trench coat and a black fedora hat that covered his eyes. However, the hat wasn't enough to hide a beauty mark underneath his right eye.

Tokiya had taken notice of this, as he had only known one person with a small beauty mark under his right eye. That man also had pale skin – it was almost clear to Tokiya who this person was to him.

The man in the trench coat flashed a small smile and his lips parted. He was about to say something when the elevator jerked and finally stopped moving. However, unlike Tokiya, he did not move a muscle. It was as though he was already expecting it. Tokiya, on the other hand, had his arms stretched out as far as he could to maintain his balance. The boy looked up and the lights in the elevator began shutting down.

* * *

><p><em>[Earlier]<em>

_"Ne, Ren-kun, I found out something from Ringo-sensei."_

_"Oh yeah?" Ren asked, giving Natsuki his full attention. "What is it, Shinomi?"_

_"It's about Masa-kun."_

_Ren's eyes widened in shock and he grew impatient. "What about Hirijikawa?" He asked, trying to sound as calm as possible._

_"Ringo-sensei told me that Masa-kun has projects to attend to and he attended to them without fail."_

_"Eh?" Ren's brows furrowed. "You mean before or after he disappeared?"_

_"After he disappeared." Natsuki nodded when he saw the look on Ren's face. It was as though he had seen a ghost. "Yup, that was my reaction, too."_

_"Wait a minute, so that means he isn't actually missing?"_

_"Calm down, Ren-kun."_

_"But—"_

_"Ringo-sensei said it may be just a rumour but who knows if he's still around somewhere. None of us know why he vanished without a word, causing us all to worry so much."_

_"Then I'm looking for him—"_

_"No wait!" Natsuki immediately grabbed Ren by the forearm just as he rose to his feet. _

_"What is it now, Shinomi?!" Ren snatched his arm back._

_"We should let the police do their job first, Ren-kun! Who knows, they may already found witnesses or clues that'll lead to Masa-kun!"_

_"Tch, the police are hopeless! They're taking far too long! I want Hirijikawa to come home!"_

_"Ren-kun, we all do. We all need him, although the rest of us don't know the misery you've been going through… Our only wish right now is for Masa-kun to return home safely."_

_Natsuki watched as Ren struggled to keep his cool like he would normally do. Heartbreak and anger were coursing through his veins and it was written on his face as well. Natsuki saw it for sure. _

_"S-Shinomi…" Ren muttered._

_"What is it, Ren-kun?" Natsuki stood up and placed a hand on Ren's shoulder._

_"If there are any more news on Hirijikawa, good or bad ones, you MUST let me know. Got it?"_

_"Mm. I will, Ren-kun. Calm yourself before you get yourself a headache."_

* * *

><p>"I wasn't expecting to bump into you here, <em>Ichinose<em>."

Tokiya was surrounded in total darkness. He pulled his phone out from his pants pocket and turned on the flashlight app and activated the flashlight, pointing it towards the mysterious man's direction.

"Your voice…" Tokiya muttered. "…Masato?"

Upon calling out his name, the man took off his fedora hat and revealed himself with a smile plastered on his face. "You called me?"

Tokiya remained glued at his spot, speechless, his face white as though he had seen a ghost. He could feel his heart pounding in his head.

"M-Masato…"

"Don't tell anyone you saw me here, Ichinose."

"But… Why..? Everyone else is worried about you!"

"I know," Masato uttered softly.

"Then why?! Why didn't you return home?!"

"I have my reasons."

"What are they?! Tell me!"

"Now isn't the right time to tell you anything yet."

"Masato. Do you have _any _idea how much your disappearance took a huge piece of Ren? Do you?!"

Masato did but he kept his mouth shut.

"And it's not just him, _you_ took a huge piece of me too."

"I know, Ichinose."

"Why haven't you returned home yet, Masato? Is there something you're not telling us?" Tears welled up at the corner of Tokiya's eyes as he took one step after another towards Masato.

"Right now, there isn't any explanations I can give you. You will need to be patient—"

The lights were finally on and the elevator started moving downwards again. Masato pressed the button for the second floor quickly and in a few seconds, the doors opened.

Masato put the hat back on, walked past Tokiya and out of the elevator.

"Wait, Masato!"

"Remember, Ichinose, do not tell anyone that you saw me here… especially to Kurosaki-san and Jinguuji. If you value our friendship, do as I say. At least for now. _Ja._"

"No, wait!" The doors shut just as Masato walked away.

The doors reopened when the elevator finally reached the lobby. Tokiya's head was down and was walking rather slowly. His mind wandered, not noticing that Ren was watching him from afar.

Tokiya weakly pushed the glass door open to exit the building when Ren came running after him.

"Ichi!"

"…huh?" Tokiya snapped back to reality as he turned around when he heard the familiar voice. "Oh… Ren."

"Ichi, are you all right?"

"Yeah, I am, yeah. Sorry…"

Ren placed a palm on his friend's forehead. "You aren't having a fever but you're looking very pale, are you sure everything is okay?"

Tokiya nodded and Ren decided not to question Tokiya any further. Instead, he snaked an arm around Tokiya's back and became his support as they walked out of the area. Unknown to them, Masato was watching them from the second floor.

"Ichi, I have to tell you something."

"Yeah?"

"It's about Hirijikawa."

"Huh?" Tokiya's ears perked up at the very mention of Masato's name. "What about Masato?"

"Shinomi told me this before I came here. He was told by Ringo-chan that Masato had been attending to his projects as per usual after he vanished…"

As Ren continued to explain further into the details, Tokiya's heart raced. Not too long ago, he was in a shared space with Masato and with the way Ren was explaining things, Tokiya found it hard to hold back the secret Masato had told him to keep.

Tokiya was stuck. Either way, he was going to betray one of them. For now, he was betraying Ren. Here Ren was, desperately needing Masato to return back to the agency but there Masato was, hiding himself from everyone.

Although Tokiya knew Masato's face would show up on TV sooner or later, he still had no other choice but to keep Masato's secret. Hurting the people around him wasn't to Tokiya's liking; he would much rather hurt himself.

* * *

><p><strong>- End of Chapter Two -<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**- Chapter Three -**

* * *

><p>Tokiya had been spending the next few days wondering about Masato's actions since they last met in the elevator and what Masato's intentions were for vanishing without a word then suddenly appearing from out of nowhere but forced Tokiya to keep it a secret.<p>

_[Flashback]_

_"Don't tell anyone you saw me here, Ichinose."_

_"But… Why..? Everyone else is worried about you!"_

_"I know," Masato uttered softly._

_"Then why?! Why didn't you return home?!"_

_"I have my reasons."_

_"What are they?! Tell me!"_

_"Now isn't the right time to tell you anything yet."_

_"Masato. Do you have _any_ idea how much your disappearance took a huge piece of Ren? Do you?! And it's not just him, you took a huge piece of me too."_

_"I know, Ichinose."_

_"Why haven't you returned home yet, Masato? Is there something you're not telling us?"_

_"Right now, there aren't any explanations I can give you. You will need to be patient—"_

_[End of flashback]_

The boy was back to his usual self when all the STARISH boys first met – he become cold towards them (including towards the members of QUARTET NIGHT) and always wanted to be left alone. Ren was the first to notice that Tokiya had been spacing out more often than usual. Normally Tokiya was the type to focus on important things, especially the jobs he was given. Wherever had his heart gone to?

However, Tokiya was grateful that as for now, the job he was given was drama-related. He vented whatever feelings he felt during the recent event with Masato. There were scenes that required him to shed tears and lash out in anger. The brunet took that to his advantage.

* * *

><p>Ever since Tokiya had turned cold and distant, Ren's mood had been going in a downward spiral. Tokiya was his pillar of strength and confidence without Masato around. He held on to Tokiya and relied on him for happiness and affection. With Tokiya's current state of mind, Ren felt lost.<p>

There were days Ren chased after Tokiya and tried to get Tokiya to talk to him. Eventually, one of the days, Tokiya lost his cool and lashed out at Ren. Of course, it was unexpected and the blond froze. The once-confident Jinguuji Ren's self-esteem had completely dropped to its lowest point and with Tokiya lashing out on him like that made him feel small and weak.

It was ever since then, Ren had also kept his distance from Tokiya and everyone else. Both Tokiya and Ren's similar behaviour confused everyone else. Syo, of course, knowing the two since they were classmates in Class S, was always the first one to lose his cool despite having Natsuki to tell him to calm down.

* * *

><p>"Oi, everyone," Syo said, catching everyone else's attention while they were having lunch together at the agency. However, Tokiya and Ren weren't present at the time. The athletic blond was seated in between Ai and Natsuki. "Don't you think we should do something about Ren and Tokiya? They're getting on my nerves."<p>

Ranmaru responded, "For all we know, you, Syo, aren't the best person to do anything right now."

"You-!" Syo rose to his feet, shouting towards Ranmaru's direction, who was sitting across the table.

Natsuki grabbed Syo's forearm quickly and pulled Syo to sit back down. "Syo-chan, stop getting so worked up. You're not making things any better like this."

"Tch," Syo sat down and crossed his arms, this time deciding not to utter anything else.

Cecil's facial expression showed how concerned he was over this matter. "Losing Masato is heart-wrenching enough. We cannot afford to lose Ren and Tokiya."

"Yeah…" Natsuki muttered.

Reiji, the always-talkative one fell silent. Having his kouhai behave this way was bad enough but he could imagine the pain Ranmaru was going through. Though Ranmaru would never admit it, he knew Ranmaru was feeling depressed but Reiji always made the effort to speak to Ranmaru in private, asking if there was anything he could do to help him. Ranmaru would always decline – at least politely this time towards Reiji – and walk off without saying anything else. Ranmaru had probably forgotten that Reiji had lost someone dear to him in a similar way. Reiji, of all people, would know how Ranmaru felt but to get Ranmaru to talk was difficult.

Otoya noticed his senpai's silent behaviour. "Rei-chan?"

The older boy snapped back to reality and turned to face Otoya. "Hm? What's wrong, Otoyan?"

The redhead narrowed his eyes at Reiji. "That's my line, Rei-chan."

Reiji laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, sorry, sorry. I was zoning out for a bit."

Otoya sighed, "Rei-chan, don't tell me you're getting upset, too."

Reiji flashed Otoya a gentle smile. "Otoyan, we all are."

Camus's eyes were on Reiji. Although they had been band members for a long time, he was not used to seeing Reiji upset although he did have one of those days.

Ai, on the other hand, had his eyes fixed on his food. With the fork in hand, he played with his food and wasn't aware that both Syo and Natsuki were watching him, worried.

"Eh..?" Otoya's attention was drawn towards a familiar mop of blonde hair a distance away. "Guys, Ren's here."

Everyone turned to Ren, who walked into the cafeteria. However, Ren did not notice their presence. He was in his own world, with no smile on his face and appeared weak – exactly the same way he was when Masato first disappeared. They all saw the same sad blue eyes. He kept his gaze on the floor and tried to endure the pain he felt coming from his chest. The blond was too heartbroken to pretend to wear a smile on his face.

Ren sighed silently and grabbed himself a bottle of mineral water. That was it. Since Tokiya had been giving him a cold shoulder, Ren hadn't been eating properly and Ranmaru was terribly worried about his kouhai's diet.

"Oh no…" Otoya uttered, when he saw Tokiya walking through the same entrance.

Tokiya and Ren crossed paths and their eyes met. Tokiya's eyes appeared angry, while Ren's eyes were sad. They remained that way for ten solid seconds before Tokiya shrugged it all off and continued walking towards the other side of the cafeteria. Ren kept his eyes on Tokiya's back and felt his heart shatter into millions of tiny pieces.

Ren and Tokiya, however, did not notice that the others were watching them.

The blond decided to make a move and chased after Tokiya.

"Ichi…" Ren said, as he approached the boy he liked.

Tokiya turned stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder. "What do you want, Ren?"

"How long are you going to treat me like this?"

Tokiya fell silent.

"Can you at least tell me what I did wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"That's bullshit, isn't it? If I didn't do anything wrong, why are you treating me as though I did something wrong?" Ren was almost on the verge of breaking down. It was very unlike him.

Tokiya held his tongue and continued to walk off.

"Ichi!" Ren reached his right arm out and grabbed Tokiya by the right shoulder, forcing the other boy to turn around to face him.

Tokiya, out of rage, slapped Ren's arm away. "I told you before to leave me alone, Ren! Is that so hard to understand?!"

"Maybe you're forgetting how much I am struggling without you, Ichi!"

Their secret leaked and the others were in complete shock. Some of them – or maybe, all of them – knew about Ren and Tokiya being more than 'just friends'.

"It's not my problem that you're struggling!" Tokiya lashed out.

Ren's eyes widened and was taken aback with Tokiya's words. He dropped his arms to his sides and hung his head. He muttered, "It's not your problem that I'm struggling… huh? What do you take me for, Ichi?"

Tokiya gritted his teeth. "_You_ were the one who looked for me first. You forced me into a relationship with you without asking for my approval."

A tear finally rolled down Ren's cheek. "That may be so… But maybe you're forgetting how I've given up almost everything for you in the process, Ichi…"

Syo felt his blood boiling. He wanted to beat Tokiya up for treating Ren in such a way.

Ren continued, "I lost Hirijikawa and… I… I… I need you, Ichi…" Ren's gaze averted from the floor and his eyes locked with Tokiya's. More tears rolled down the blond's face. "I… I love you, Ichi."

Tokiya suddenly felt a sharp pain in his heart. Everyone else, who were also listening (and watching), were taken aback with the words that escaped Ren's lips.

Ren then wore a gentle, weak smile and added, "It was unexpected, really. The love and hope you gave me… and you were the light when my days were dark. Your love was so genuine and kind… If only you noticed how much your behaviour is affecting me because I can't stand you giving me a cold shoulder anymore if you claim I didn't do anything wrong."

Tokiya regretted the words he said and the things he did towards Ren. He was desperate to tell everyone the truth regarding Masato, especially towards Ren, but he couldn't. Masato had told him to keep it a secret and Tokiya didn't know what else to do as he was too caught up with his own feelings. The boy didn't want to betray both Masato and Ren, the two who he held dear. Ren wasn't aware of Tokiya's relationship with Masato, let alone tell him about the incident between himself and Masato a few days before.

Before continuing the conversation, Tokiya took a few steps forward to grab Ren by the hand, catching the other boy off guard. Tokiya's touch was warm.

"Please let's talk in private, Ren, there are things we need to discuss," Tokiya said and Ren nodded in agreement, gladly following Tokiya out of the cafeteria.

When both boys were out of sight, the others looked at each other.

"That was one hell of a drama between them," Syo blurted out.

"I wasn't expecting Ren to say those three words, though," Ai commented.

"Yeah…" Otoya smiled. "But if that's how Ren feels, then I respect his feelings."

Natsuki agreed with Otoya. "Me too."

"Hmph," Ranmaru crossed his arms. "How do you think Masato would feel if he finds out about Ren and Tokiya? Masato and Ren share a special bond that no one else, including myself, understand."

"Especially since they knew each other since they were kids, right?" Cecil continued.

The other members of STARISH nodded.

* * *

><p>Ren and Tokiya had found some place quieter in the park, at Ren's usual spot at the bench by the lake. Tokiya released his grasp on Ren's hand before tucking both his hands into his pants' pockets.<p>

Tokiya was trying to find his ability to gather enough courage to be honest with Ren. He had been hiding in his own shell long enough to be able to feel guilty about everything.

"Ren…"

Ren paid close attention to Tokiya.

"There are things I need you to understand. There are things I need to tell you and the others but I can't. You notice the change in me, didn't you, since it was obvious? I'm torn into two right now, Ren. This is confusing to you, I know, but you have to understand how hard this is on me."

"Wait a minute… Ichi, are you talking about Hirijikawa?"

Tokiya turned around slowly to face the other boy. "I can't tell you what's been bothering me for now. When the time comes, I will tell you everything for I am stuck now. Either way, I will betray someone. If you were in my shoes, you would understand. I know what it's like to lose someone special to me, Ren..." Apparently, Tokiya was referring to Masato but Ren didn't know that. "…because losing you will be hard for me to be able to move on even with the support of everyone else."

Ren looked away and a blush crossed his face.

"Those three words you said to me in the cafeteria just now…" Tokiya smiled warmly, stepping closer towards Ren. With both hands, the brunet looked up into the blond's blue eyes and cupped his face. Tokiya bit his lower lip and his face drew closer to Ren's.

Otoya and Cecil were out together for a walk in that same park after their lunch, to breathe in the fresh air.

"Cecil, maybe we should do something fun together today!" Otoya raised a fist in mid-air. It was almost impossible for him to hold back his excitement.

"Sure, Otoya," Cecil grinned. "What do you have in mind?"

"Hmm… I was thinking we should play some video games!"

"E-eh...? Video games?" The tanned-skinned boy scratched his head. "But I know nothing about video games."

"Don't worry about it, Cecil, I'll teach you!"

"Okay," Cecil smiled again. Before continuing their conversation, the sight he saw as he scanned the area made his jaw dropped.

Otoya looked in the same direction and his reaction was the same as Cecil's.

Ren and Tokiya's lips had already met by then.

"C-C-C-C-C-C-Cecil!" Otoya was losing his sanity.

"Uh, well…" Cecil scratched his head again. "Ren _did_ say 'I love you' to Tokiya earlier…"

Otoya slipped his hand into his pants' pocket and quickly grabbed his phone. "Can I take a picture of them—"

"Otoya, don't!" In a split second, Cecil snatched Otoya's phone away from him.

"Ceciiiiiiiiiiil!"

* * *

><p><strong>- End of Chapter Three -<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**- Chapter Four -**

* * *

><p>Otoya and Cecil came sprinting through the doors of the agency and into the cafeteria where they had left the others earlier. They stopped in their tracks at their table and panted continuously.<p>

Reiji blinked. "Otoyan, what's wrong?"

"T-T-T-T-T-T-T-Tokiyaaaaaaaa!"

Reiji was confused.

Ranmaru groaned. "What happened, Otoya?"

"Aijima," Camus called for his kouhai, demanding for an explanation for their actions.

Cecil, who was just as tongue-tied as Otoya was, managed to catch his breath faster and cleared his throat before he began explaining, "We saw Ren and Tokiya at the park while we were having our stroll."

Otoya nodded frantically, "Yeah, yeah! And when we saw them—"

_"Otoya."_

_"Cesshi."_

"Uh?" Otoya and Cecil muttered in sync and gasped in shock when both Ren and Tokiya stood behind them.

"Do you two have a minute, Ikki? Cesshi?" Ren gripped onto Cecil's shoulder, who was panicking.

"Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes! Let's go!" Cecil pulled Otoya by the arm and frantically led them out.

All eyes were then on Ren and Tokiya.

Ren chuckled, "Don't worry, we won't hurt them."

"Let's go, Ren," Tokiya turned to face the exit with Ren gladly following him from behind.

Meanwhile, back outside at the park, Cecil and Otoya, weren't only panicking, they were speaking so quickly both at the same time, they weren't really listening to each other and that went on until Ren and Tokiya approached them.

"All right, you two, we both know you saw us," Ren said, cutting to the chase.

"I'm going to make myself clear to the two of you since what you saw cannot be unseen," Tokiya told Cecil and Otoya seriously as he crossed his arms. "Don't bring this up to the others. Ren and I are struggling emotionally and we only rely on one another. To be honest, even I don't know where this relationship is heading to. It can either be a real relationship or not."

Ren crossed his arms as well and continued, "Although I must admit that our reason sounds more like an excuse, but perhaps what I feel about Ichi is real."

"Eh?" Cecil was at a loss. "But what about Masato?"

Ren and Tokiya frowned.

Ren shrugged. "We may or may not see him again…"

Tokiya closed his eyes shut at Ren's statement. It wasn't too long ago when he had just made contact with Masato in that elevator. However, inside, Tokiya still had a glimpse of hope for Masato to return home.

Otoya's facial expression turned into a soft, friendly smile. "Tokiya, don't worry. Cecil and I will keep our word. Anyway, if you're both happy being together, you have our blessings."

Ren and Tokiya were shocked.

"Yes, you do," Cecil added. "After all, if you make each other happy, then we have no objections."

Tokiya stood closer to his partner, "But Otoya, you said before—"

Otoya shook his head, cutting Tokiya's sentence off. "It's fine, really. I've talked to Rei-chan about this."

Tokiya's eyes widened in shock. "You what?"

Otoya laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck, "Actually, the others know what's going on between you two. They've been guessing you two have been dating for a while now and Kurosaki-senpai doesn't approve… Or didn't approve. I don't know. He rarely talks much since Masa disappeared, so…"

Ren zipped his lips shut but then muttered, "Ran-chan rarely talks… Huh…"

Cecil nodded, "You probably never noticed that, Ren, since you're always with Tokiya. Ranmaru probably needs you more than you think. After all, you're his kouhai."

The blond nodded and crossed his arms, "Yeah, especially since Ran-chan is the type that will never admit his own feelings."

Tokiya turned to Ren, "Ren, you should probably spend more time with Kurosaki-san."

"Huh? Then what about you, Ichi?"

Tokiya shook his head. "I'll be fine. After all, today is my only day off for this week. My schedule will be full for the rest of the week so I won't have time to spend with you and the others, Ren."

"Then I'll wait for you after work or something," Ren suggested.

Otoya joined in, "Me too! After all, Tokiya, we can all have dinner after you're done with work!"

Cecil added, "Count me in!"

Ren asked with a smile, "So, should we ask Ochibi-chan and Shinomi to join in as well?"

Tokiya chuckled, "If you guys want to, then I'm fine but I'll update you my schedule for tomorrow first, yeah. I don't want to keep you guys waiting for too long."

* * *

><p>Back in their dorms, Ranmaru sat on his bed quietly, flipping through a random magazine. He wasn't actually reading or even looking at the pictures. Then, he heard the door open.<p>

It was Ren.

"Yo, Ran-chan," Ren smiled at his senpai from the door.

"Where were you?" Ranmaru asked.

"I was at the park with Ichi, Cesshi and Ikki." Ren shut the door behind him and walked towards Ranmaru's side of the room.

The rock star placed the magazine aside and sat cross-legged. "Did you torture your band mates?"

Ren shrugged. "If only I could but I didn't have the heart to. Mind if I sit next to you on your bed?"

Ranmaru shifted to leave Ren some space for him to sit.

"So, Ran-chan, how have you been?" Ren asked as he settled down on a spot next to Ranmaru.

Ranmaru shrugged, "You tell me."

The blond guessed, "Lonely?"

"Tch," Ranmaru looked away when the answer Ren gave was accurate.

"So you have been pretty lonely."

"You've always been spending your time with Tokiya, Ren, and I didn't want to interrupt that."

"This doesn't sound like you, Ran-chan."

"Why doesn't it?"

"You feeling lonely. Normally you prefer being left alone."

"You can say I have grown out of it since STARISH won the UtaPri award."

"That kind of answers my prayers," Ren laughed. "But then again, Ran-chan, if you need me, just let me know."

"I never was on the same page as you and Masato to begin with, you know that."

"Yup, I do."

Silence filled the room. Ranmaru thought it was probably his mistake of mentioning Masato's name.

Ranmaru broke the silence, "Ren, I'm sorry—"

"Don't be, Ran-chan. It's not your fault."

"But the subject on Masato is still very sensitive to you."

"It is, but don't worry about it, Ran-chan, really. Hirijikawa plays a huge part in my life and he's one of us so I can't really avoid the subject on him."

Ranmaru finally flashed a small smile, "I'm glad you understand, Ren."

Ren noticed Ranmaru's smile and decided to tease his senpai.

"Ehhh, Ran-chan, you're finally smiling."

"Eh—" A blush crossed Ranmaru's cheek. He turned away and denied. "N-no, I'm not!"

Ren giggled. "Oh you sure are, Ran-chan."

"Ahhh, anyway," Ranmaru decided to change the subject. "What is going on between you and Tokiya?"

"…huh?"

"Tell me honestly, Ren. I don't see why you need to lie to me of all people. But if you'd rather not talk about it, I'm completely okay with—"

"No, Ran-chan," Ren interrupted, as he hung his head low. His bangs were covering his eyes. "I'll tell you everything. Besides, you're my senpai."

* * *

><p>The following day was an exhausting one for Tokiya. He was on set for the drama he was a part of and despite having breaks in between takes, he was still exhausted. Who wouldn't be?<p>

During one of those short breaks, he took his phone out from his bag to check for any messages and there were, coming from Ren and Otoya. Otoya's weren't very serious messages, just the normal 'I-want-to-annoy-you-because-it's-my-nature-and-you're-my-roomie' type. Ren's were more on the romantic side, as expected from the boy who was born on Valentine's Day.

One of the producers approached Tokiya, "Ichinose-san?"

"Yes?"

"There is someone looking for you. He's waiting in your preparation room. Don't be long, we will start in half an hour."

"Yes, thank you."

Tokiya took his bag, in his mind wondering who that person waiting for him was. He quickly made his way into his preparation room and upon entering, he noticed someone already seated on his couch with their back facing him. The boy shut the door behind him and placed his bag down on the makeup table.

"It's Ichinose Tokiya. I was told you were looking for me? If there is something important, let me know quickly because I can't stay long. I have to be back outside in thirty minutes."

The man dressed in all black and a fedora hat stood up, finally turning around. "I know who you are, Ichinose."

"Wait a minute…"

He took off his hat and placed it gently on the makeup table. It was Masato.

"Masato!"

"Hello, Ichinose."

"Masato… What are you doing here?"

"I'm working in the same building, except on a different floor. When I first heard you're working in the same building, I knew it was pointless for me to try to avoid you."

"Because you know we'll bump into each other, eventually," Tokiya continued.

Masato nodded. "How is everyone else?"

Tokiya crossed his arms. "Maybe you should answer your own question, Masato."

There was then a knock on the door.

_"Ichinose-san, there is someone out here looking for you."_

"Come on in," Tokiya responded out loud.

The person, with a familiar mop of blond hair, entered. "Ichi—"

"Ren!"

"Jinguuji?"

Just as the door shut behind him, Ren's eyes widened in shock when he saw Masato standing before him. "Hirijikawa..?"

Tokiya remained in his spot, his gaze shifting from Masato to Ren and back to Masato.

"Where were you the whole time, Hirijikawa?" Ren felt his heart shatter little by little.

Masato held his tongue.

"Where were you?!" Ren raised his voice.

"Ren!" Tokiya moved over to stand in front of Ren and grabbed both his shoulders. "Calm down! I can't afford to have any one of those people hear us from outside."

"To hell with that, Ichi!"

"Jinguuji, listen to Ichinose."

"You—" Ren was about to take a large step forward towards Masato when Tokiya used whatever strength he had left to stop the taller boy, who was also stronger than him.

"Ren, please!" Tokiya pleaded. "Let's just talk about this!"

"Talk?!" Ren exclaimed, angrily. "Were you aware with what you did to me, Hirijikawa?! Were you?!"

"Ren!" Tokiya grabbed Ren by the collar. "I don't want to hit you, Ren. Stop raising your voice at Masato. I don't want outsiders to know about this."

Ren's eyes locked with Masato's before he finally looked away. "Tch," Ren slapped away Tokiya's hands off his collar. "Fine."

Silence filled the room before Ren decided to break the silence.

"So, Ichi, you knew where Hirijikawa was the whole time, didn't you?"

Tokiya felt a stab in his heart.

Ren continued. "You chose to betray me."

"That's not it, Ren."

"So, what we had wasn't real, Ichi?"

Masato's ears perked up. "Are you two sharing something that I'm not aware of?"

The blond casually answered his partner's question, "Well, I just spilled the beans to Ran-chan before I came here."

Tokiya couldn't believe his ears, "you told Kurosaki-san?"

"What's the point in hiding? He knew what you and I shared, Ichi. Everyone else does. Even Ikki and Cesshi said so."

"What else did Kurosaki-san said to you?"

Suddenly, the conversation was between Tokiya and Ren. Again, they were arguing. It hadn't been twenty-four hours since their last argument.

Ren shrugged, "He didn't say much. Since Hirijikawa disappeared, he hasn't been talking much despite having Rei-chan trying to get him to talk."

Masato felt guilty.

"From the look on your face, Hirijikawa, you're already feeling guilty," Ren blurted out to his partner, who then glanced away. "Have you thought of coming back home already? Ran-chan's feeling really lonely, in case you didn't know."

"Wait a minute, Ren," Tokiya said, "I've been wondering about this since you stepped in. Why are you here this early? Weren't you supposed to be here with the others in about three hours?"

"If I hadn't arrived earlier, I would've missed Hirijikawa. I probably came at the right time."

Masato strolled over towards Ren and stood before the blond. "I'm sorry, Jinguuji, but I can't go back yet."

Ren's blue eyes appeared sad. "Why not?"

"My father, is the reason."

Ren, of all the other members of both STARISH and QUARTET NIGHT, knew of Masato's situations back home very well.

Masato continued, "I would've been able to make it back on the night I was supposed to meet you if it wasn't for my father."

"You could've called," Ren whispered.

Tokiya watched as the two grew closer to one another. Jealousy then coursed through his veins.

Masato cupped one side of Ren's face. "I know I should've but I'll come home soon, alright?"

A tear rolled down Ren's cheek just as he placed his own hand over the hand Masato had on his cheek.

"I have to go now," Masato pulled his hand away from Ren, who then gripped onto his hand tighter than before just as he was heading towards the makeup table to fetch his fedora hat.

"No!"

Masato stopped in his tracks. "Jinguuji."

"You can't go."

Tokiya decided to excuse himself. "I'll leave you two alone, I have to be back on set already. Excuse me."

Ren and Masato looked at Tokiya until he was out of sight.

Tokiya's heart continued to break and he couldn't endure the emotional pain he was feeling. With Masato and Ren reunited, Tokiya felt as though he was out of place.

* * *

><p><strong>- End of Chapter Four -<strong>


End file.
